Founder’s Apprentice (Chief of Staff Track)

Dear Future Founder,  

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This is not a normal job. It’s an apprenticeship designed to turn you into a founder.  

If you’ve ever wished someone would hand you the keys and show you how startups really get built, this is it.  

You’ll work directly with me (Austin, founder of Morning Water, a fast-growing CPG startup in the hydration & longevity space) and my co-founder (a Fortune 40 Under 40 entrepreneur who built and exited a 9-figure company, once named by USA Today as one of the “5 Best Communicators in the World”)  

Instead of wasting years on an MBA, you’ll get paid to roll up your sleeves, ship projects that matter, and learn the real skills of entrepreneurship and marketing.

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The Opportunity:    

Role: Founder’s Apprentice (Chief of Staff track)

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Location: Start in-person in Lake Oswego, OR → Remote → Relocate to Austin HQ in 2025  

You’ll be my right hand. That means solving problems before they hit my desk, building systems that keep the company moving, and jumping into whatever fire is burning hottest that day.  

• One day, you'll be doing outreach and sending products to affiliates.  
• The next, you’ll be building out customer retention flows.  
• The next, you’ll be coordinating logistics for an investor meeting or a live event.  

No two days will look the same. If that excites you instead of scares you, you’re in the right place.  

And here’s the promise: If you succeed here, you’ll leave with the skills, network, and confidence to launch your own company (or run a division of ours).    

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What We’re Looking For:  

• Hungry to learn entrepreneurship and marketing (non-negotiable)  
• Tech-savvy — the person friends and family call when tech breaks  
• Polished writer, able to self-edit and ship clean work  
• A finisher who hates leaving projects undone  
• Analytical mind (comfortable with numbers & dashboards)  
• Self-starter who doesn’t need hand-holding  
• Lives a healthy lifestyle

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Bonus Points if:  

• You understand social media and can grow engagement  
• You can code or “vibe code”  
• You’re got a strong grasp on how to use AI tools  

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Who This Role is Not For:  

• People who need micromanaging  
• People chasing a cushy 9-5  
• People who crumble when plans change  
• People who think learning ends at graduation  

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Logistics:    

• Month 1: Work side-by-side in Lake Oswego, OR (Airbnb provided)  
• Months 2+: Remote, with daily collaboration  
• 2025: Relocate to Austin HQ (we’ll help make it smooth)  
• Expect 3-4 days per week in the office once HQ opens  
• Our culture is healthy, focused, and high-trust — we hire characters, not positions  

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What Success Looks Like:  

• You free up the founder’s time by handling complex tasks without constant oversight  
• You own projects end-to-end and close loops  
• You’re proactive — spotting opportunities and problems before others do  
• Within 2 years, you’ve built a skillset most people spend a decade fumbling toward  

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How To Apply:    

No exceptions — follow these instructions:  

1. Cover Letter (one page max) answering:  
   1. Why are you the “Founder’s Apprentice” we’re looking for?  
   2. What’s your biggest accomplishment so far?  
   3. What are the last three books you read?  
   4. What do you do for fun?  
   5. What are you doing now for work, and why are you looking elsewhere?  
   6. To prove attention to detail, include the words “Pink Cadillac” in the first paragraph.  
2. Single Document Submission: Cover letter first, resume second. Word or PDF only.  
3. Click this link to submit your application  

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Final Note:  

This role is demanding, fast-paced, and not for everyone. But if you’re serious about becoming a founder and want to compress a decade of learning into the next two years, this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.